Monday, November 26, 2012

Pigs will fly before David Beckham joins West Ham

Pigs will fly before David Beckham dons the claret and blue of West Ham United. Every transfer window, we get the usual baloney of the 'East End Boy' David Beckham, finishing his career at West Ham United Football Club. Frankly, its all a bit ridiculous, yet you get some fans almost frothing at the mouth at the prospect of this 38-year-old hasbeen joining us.

I've heard drivel like he would be a good 'ambassador' for the club, He would 'provide the crosses for Andy Carroll  ,with him on the one side and Matty Taylor on the other side enthused another supporter. Well...on the one side, you'd have someone who moves slower than a statue, in Beckham. On the other side you would have Taylor, who simply hasn't got the pace or skill to beat his man...thus, he is hardly ever in a position to deliver a dangerous cross.

In his PRIME, Beckham had no pace, couldn't beat his man, couldn't tackle or even head a ball. His sole attributes being, that he was good at dead ball situations from the right hand side of the pitch. Beckham, like the rest of the so called 'golden' generation, was great on hype ,but delivered precious little.

Granted, he packaged and delivered 'brand' Posh and Becks superbly to the adoring British public. Ruthlessly seeing a vacuum after the death of Princess Diana, the driving force and brains behind it all was his Popstar wife, Victoria, of The Spice Girls. Every single detail of 'Brand' Beckham, was leaked to the media. From what bog roll they used, to where, when and what time they sh*gged!

If Mitt Romney had been half as effective as 'team' Beckham been at promoting their self interests, he would have won the US Presidential election by a landslide. The media know gold when they see it ..the Beckham's were good for business. The British public became Beckham a heroine junkie, they couldn't get by without they daily fix of Beckham diatribe.

Sadly, all good things come to an end, even for self publicists like the Beckhams. Although, like an ageing actor, Beckham is struggling to leave the stage. How else can one explain his decision to hold a midnight press conference, to announce he had signed an extension of his LA Galaxy deal...thick skinned or what?? God! It's about as effective as President Jimmy Carter, calling a midnight press conference and telling the world he patched up his differences with Bill Clinton. Ridiculous!

Predictably, the owners and Sam did try to squeeze the last bit of free publicity out of 'brand' Beckham, as humanely possible. There is no business like show business, as they say! Although even if he did sign, I cannot see too many people wanting to buy a thirty-eight-year old hasbeens shirt from the club shop.

We had David Gold saying, he would be 'welcome' Beckham at West Ham. We had Sam adding his two pence worth, by saying that Beckham would be 'welcome' if he 'proved' his fitness. Privately? Probably laughing their heads off. However ...i'm sure their is plenty of serious business been discussed regarding strengthening the squad in January.

We most certainly DO need strengthening. We have a small squad ,and we need some additions to add to the force. The performance of every member of the squad will no doubt be evaluated, regardless of the results, against Spurs, Manchester United and Chelsea. Our small squad has done well, and to be brutally honest, punched above its weight.

However, there are areas of concern, and we need to address them. First of all our strikers have only scored one goal between them! Simply not good enough at this level. Andy Carroll looks shot, his confidence has gone. Against Stoke, he drifted out to the wing, crossing the ball into the penalty area. That's NOT where a striker should be.

As I speak, Andy Carroll's loan spell at West Ham United Football Club has been a failure. Yes, I know he holds the ball up well, lays the ball off well and helps out the defence. Admirable, yes! But one cannot get away from the fact that a strikers primary function is to score goals. In that respect, Andy Carroll has been a dismal failure. He can count his lucky stars that results have gone our way.

If they hadn't...The Boleyn Ground Faithful would of turned against him by now, believe you me! Things are going to have to change for Andy Carroll, as far as finding the back of the net is concerned. Part of the problem has been the type of crosses both Noble and Jarvis have delivered. Carroll needs the ball fired in at pace, balls he can move onto and ATTACK! Floating crosses to Carroll while he is standing still is not the answer. How on earth can he get power onto his headers, and lose his marker? Impossible! Questions are going to be asked by the board regards Andy Carroll, and rightly so.

If he's not the problem, we are going to find out what the problem is and address it. Even if he's not the problem we should look to bring in a fox in the box type of striker to play alongside Carroll.

The Board may well turn around to Allardyce and say "Look Sam, we can get two good strikers from La Liga with a far superior technical ability than Andy Carroll, for half the price. With Andy Carroll ,we are limited to the type of football we can play...sooner or later, we are going to get found out by most of the teams in the Premier League. You know how to play football on the deck, and have got a squad who are equipped to do so "Either way we are going to need at least one striker if not two.

Another player who is on loan till January with his parent club having a recall option is my old favorite, one Yossi Benayoun. Anyone who had seen the first half against Stoke, would have seen how badly Yossi was missed. The lack of creativity and width in the team was alarming. We have no one in the squad with the same amount of creativity and intelligence as Benayoun. His movement is absolutely superb! We haven't come REMOTELY close to replacing him since he left the club in 2007. To lose him no, would be potentially devastating.

But..with him missing the Stoke game and going to miss out The Spurs game, and not being able to play against Chelsea...added to his slow start on his return to The Boleyn Ground, the board may well be having a look round for younger alternatives. Yossi may even fancy going back to play for Rafa Benitez, who was his manager at Liverpool .I hope not!

Although, unlike when Yossi 'agreed' a deal, then left to join Liverpool. This time round...West Ham hold all the aces. Lets face it, Yossi is hardly going to be offered a new deal by Chelsea when his present deal expires in the summer. After all..Yossi will be 33 then!

I cannot see Gold and Sullivan signing him on a permanent deal in January. It will be a case extending his loan till the end of the season. If he proves his worth,Yossi will be offered a one year deal, take it or leave  it. My guess is that Mr Benayoun is being monitored very closely at the moment.

Don't you worry..the board and Sam, will have a plan B ready if need be. That plan will almost certainly include..Joe Cole. Yes, he has suffered from injuries but if anyone can get him fit and back to his best it's Sam Allardyce. He may not have wanted to return in the summer, but after the way Brendan Rodgers treated him if Sam phoned him now..he'd RUN back to The Boleyn Ground.

There are two other positions I can see us strengthening in. One being goalkeeper, someone capable of challenging Jussi Jaaskleinen. The haste in which Stephen Henderson was shipped out on loan doesn't bode well for his future at The Boleyn Ground. We simply cannot rely on the Spiegel kid. Personally, I wouldn't be at all surprised to see Blackburn's Paul Robinson brought in.

Left back is another problem position that needs addressing. George McCartney is mediocre at best. McCartney tends to panic and struggles with pace. I have full confidence that the board and Sam will manage to deliver that extra bit of quality which will enable us to enjoy our best season in years! No doubt a shopping list has already been drawn up and the boys are already hard at work .David Beckham on the list?Behave! It's not the pantomime season YET! We are more than a football club, we're a way of life! COYI'S!!

Sam Hewit

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